Sunday, February 22, 2009

the shadow proves the sunshine.

i have put off blogging so long i have way too much to say but i'll keep it short.

i caught the awful cold that seems to be going around and felt like i was going to die yesterday but overnight my stuffy nose went away and i could breathe which is the best feeling ever. but last night i couldn't sleep so i took some melatonin which put me right out, but i had the weirdest dreams ever. the sun started to poke through my blinds and in my head i came to the conclusion that the sunlight was the reason why i could breathe again.. i know weird right?

lately, ive been really down and out. i haven't been motivated to do anything. ive felt stuck in many different ways. and like always Jesus stuck with me through it. He is good. today was good. and the fire is rekindling in my heart. i watched the academy awards and re-realized my passion to make a good movie. not just a good movie but also work with an amazing team of people to make that movie. and no matter if it makes it to the oscars or not, i will one day make a movie that in some way glorifies Christ and His amazing love. . i dont want to be famous, i just want Jesus to be.

soo... this might be a frog on a hot plate thing, hopefully not, but I really want to go to Biola University. and for now i'm making it my goal. for the last week ive been thinking and praying about it and starting to believe it might be a big possibility. they have an awesome film program and ive been longing for a community that they just might provide. i want to visit 
all is said and done but im excited to see what happens with it. but who know we shall see. the money part is difficult, and student loans will be hard to attain because both of my parents have bad credit. but in the least cliche' way God always provides and He will find a way if that is where i am supposed to be, and if not then so be it. just as long as I have Jesus. (which is way easier said then done... but im human and im trying)

what Christ has done for us,  who He is, and what He will do is truly beautiful. and i forget that 
much of the time. i need to be reminded constantly that He is my rock and that He is what fills me. nothing else will provide like He does, through it all, He is my everything.

we sang this song in church today, i really enjoy it, and you might like it too. 
here are the lyrics: 

i pray that  your blessings are as abundant as mine even in the toughest of times. 
just remember to Him you are everything.

                                                      Devotion By Hillsong

I've been running, trying to be one who sees
I've been working salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
that we are redeemed
I'm believing, trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable:
I take up my cross and follow you Lord

When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees

I'm forgiven; my Savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
I'm delivered, but it doesn't seem right
unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his life
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow you Lord

I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go

1 comment:

R-becca said...

Hi Jillian! I see that you follow my blog...nice to meet you. I just want you to know that I went to Biola for my undergraduate degree and would be more than willing to talk to you about the school, etc. Going there for school was one of the best decisions I have made. Feel free to email me at with any thoughts, questions, etc. :)