Thursday, April 16, 2009

oh my,

Jesus I love you.

such a lover, a giver, a listener, and a healer.

my everything.

my all in all.

not to mention God of the whole universe.

i just can't get enough.

now, i know he wrote this as a letter but just imagine Paul saying this out loud to the people of Ephesus:
This is why it says: "when he ascended he took many captives and gave gifts to his people" (what does "he acended mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions?! He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe!! Ephesians 4:8-10

*I added the exclamation points : P

Our God is so big, bigger than all the worries in the world times two!

like i said, Jesus I love you.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Jesus ONLY

I was just brushing my teeth and a kind of random idea popped into my head...

a challenge really.

today, and for as long as I can I want to challenge myself to limit the time I spend on the computer, or watching TV.

it's not a very uncommon thing, I'm sure people try this every day.

but I would really like to spend more time on more important things (like my soul).

i have been a reck lately, up and down like a roller coaster, but i believe some real Jesus time will help. (duhh..)

i want to honestly and whole heartedly seek out the heart of Jesus with everything I've got, and things like blogging, facebook, and myspace have become some of my own distractions, and I don't think I ever considered them to be until now.

I almost negotiated with myself by doing this after school ended, but starting now is even better.

I NEED Jesus. not a social network.

I NEED to show the world the real Jesus through my actions, not my time spent watching TV.

and don't get me wrong these aren't bad things, just things I need to put away for a while.

so here it goes...

and honest to goodness i have know idea how long this might last, and nor do I need to blog about it, but it never hurts to have people who can keep you accountable.

nonetheless, I am really excited for the outcome.

Jesus here I come!


36 When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume.38 As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

    39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

    40 Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." 
       "Tell me, teacher," he said.

    41 "Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a] and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

    43 Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven." 
       "You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

    44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little."

    48 Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

    49 The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

    50 Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades.

 From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out. 

Friday, April 10, 2009

ears and the sunrise.

okay, so i used to think surgery was cool. like everything the media fed you and more. but i've come to find out that i am dead wrong (almost literally). 

my ear hurts. 

 it more than hurts. it throbs. it makes weird noises, and feels like there is a sharp rock on the side of my head. its the reason i am now addicted to pain pills. also the reason why i am up at 5am. its the reason i cant wash my hair until sunday! its the reason for my bad moods, and angry blog too. 

i tried taking a picture, but decided not to post it. but if you can imagine some one ripping your ear off and gluing it back together, you'd get the picture. 

i had what is called a Mastoidectomy/T-Plasty which pretty much means they cut open my ear and removed all the built up scar tissue and icky stuff from years and years of previous ear infections. 

it sucks. 

but, don't get me wrong. i am so thankful that i was even able to have the operation. also i know that people suffer much worse from stuff i cant even begin to imagine. which makes me the least credible in writing a whinny blog. but even a small annoying ear operation shows me that Jesus never intended for us to experience pain. but we do. and i believe its one thing that allows us to question our faith almost every day. but, He too, suffered. He felt the pain of all pain. and like Him, we must pick up our crosses and carry them to the top of the mountain everyday. 

and the cool thing is.... we are not alone.

i cant wait until the healing process is over, but i wouldn't miss it if it meant realizing over again what Christ has done for me in His pain and suffering. 

here is some scripture that goes along with my self-meddling:

23Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  -Luke 9:23

10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
-Philippians 3:10-12   (got this one from Tanita's blog today)  : )

but hey!  at least i get to see the sunrise! : D

and like most pain, i know it will all be worth it in the end. 

Happy Good Friday everyone.

love, Jill