Friday, April 10, 2009

ears and the sunrise.

okay, so i used to think surgery was cool. like everything the media fed you and more. but i've come to find out that i am dead wrong (almost literally). 

my ear hurts. 

 it more than hurts. it throbs. it makes weird noises, and feels like there is a sharp rock on the side of my head. its the reason i am now addicted to pain pills. also the reason why i am up at 5am. its the reason i cant wash my hair until sunday! its the reason for my bad moods, and angry blog too. 

i tried taking a picture, but decided not to post it. but if you can imagine some one ripping your ear off and gluing it back together, you'd get the picture. 

i had what is called a Mastoidectomy/T-Plasty which pretty much means they cut open my ear and removed all the built up scar tissue and icky stuff from years and years of previous ear infections. 

it sucks. 

but, don't get me wrong. i am so thankful that i was even able to have the operation. also i know that people suffer much worse from stuff i cant even begin to imagine. which makes me the least credible in writing a whinny blog. but even a small annoying ear operation shows me that Jesus never intended for us to experience pain. but we do. and i believe its one thing that allows us to question our faith almost every day. but, He too, suffered. He felt the pain of all pain. and like Him, we must pick up our crosses and carry them to the top of the mountain everyday. 

and the cool thing is.... we are not alone.

i cant wait until the healing process is over, but i wouldn't miss it if it meant realizing over again what Christ has done for me in His pain and suffering. 

here is some scripture that goes along with my self-meddling:

23Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  -Luke 9:23

10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
-Philippians 3:10-12   (got this one from Tanita's blog today)  : )

but hey!  at least i get to see the sunrise! : D

and like most pain, i know it will all be worth it in the end. 

Happy Good Friday everyone.

love, Jill


I do what I want! said...

Hey girl...I struggled with ear problems forever and I just recently got them all straightened out so I feel your pain! I hope you have a quick and easy recovery and don't get too addicted to those pain pills ;)

Jillian said...

Aww thank you! Thinks are definitely better. Although, I can't sleep on one side yet which kinda stinks but hey it will all be worth it in the end right? It's nice to know I am not the only one with ear issues. Thank you for reading : D I love your blog. Keep writing girl! : D